I Want A Second Chance To Grow

It's a troubled walk my friend
Each day brings old pain back again
Not one soul to console me
Not one road that they've shown me
I gotta find it on my own
And fight my demons and unearth gold
and love thy neighbor whence they scorn
Myself inside my chosen form
And see the truth
And know the lie
And see love's proof
In vacant eyes
I hate this path, I hate this road
All my wrath is God owed
He gave me life and watched me fake it
Burdened by truth I want to take it
Do you know where good has gone?
Where spoken morals carry on?
Where I could gain what I should know
And not bear gashes lined in rows?
Where I could hold my makings dear
And yet to others still be near?
Do you know what happened to
Everything the world told you?
Take my laughter, Take my tears
And give me back my early years

This Is Me

I hide so many secrets
but I'm getting tired of hiding.
if you knew me
would you still care?
it's been a while
since I've been honest with you,
and I just want to say
that I'm sorry for the way I've been.
I'm not who you think,
this body to me is a cell
and I wish it so much to change.

this isn't me you see,
no one has ever seen the real me.
locked inside my head
is where she's always been,
and yes I do mean she.
the secret is my body deceives.
I am not a man,
and my greatest wish
is to make this true.

my whole life I've kept this secret
hidden and suppressed.
through many lonely days and nights
I've thought about this,
unsure of what I want.
this hasn't been easy
and my troubles have just begun.

I want a new life
just like I always have.
different as it may be
it's time to do something for myself.
if after reading this
you still say you care,
then I'd be happy
to call you a friend.

I walk this lonely road
with none beside me.
I want to be a girl
I say to them,
they think I'm crazy;
they think I'm gay.
most either walk away
or never want to talk.

I feel so alone every day.
sometimes I wonder why me?
every day I cry
from this feeling of isolation.
though I know I'm not alone
it always seems to feel like I am,
as if the world is doing it's best
to destroy me and change me.

I can't help how I am,
I just want to live my own life.
I'm sorry for deceiving you,
it went on for far too long.
one day I hope you can forgive me.
I'm not perfect,
and I never have or will be,
but I'm not sorry for how I am.

this deception has gone on far too long,
and it's time I make a stand.
I am transsexual and of that
I will not be ashamed anymore.
the real me I must finally show the world.

so this is me
with all my flaws and faults,
hate me if you must
but I won't care,
because I'm finally being true to myself.

Just A Girl

I'm just a girl, and this is my world.
I never asked for it to be this way,
but that's life for you, never fair.
I'm never sure what I should do,
but what should you care?
my world isn't nice,
and it's certainly not forgiving.
you can come in if you like,
but you'd better think twice.
it's not all that you think it may be.
I make it seem alright,
though to most, it must seem full of fright.
you may think you're tough,
but my world is tougher.
it's beaten many before,
and there are many yet to come.
it's not for everyone, who would want it?
this is a life of desperation and last resorts,
mostly just lucky breaks.
the world sees me, and my life,
more ways than I can imagine,
but I'm just a girl.
there's nothing special about me, really,
I've only worked harder than most to just be a girl.

About Me

Born 28 years ago this November
I'm a girl you'll always remember
for being the one always there when you call,
for being the one to pick you up when you fall.
My name is Katrina, some call me Kat,
either way, doesn't matter, they're both lovely.
I say I'm a girl you'll always remember.
Born 28 years ago this November
I was a boy; now let's see you forget.
I'm a transsexual woman still just 28
and I'm here to share my heart with you;
share my story, my future, my plans, and my dreams,
my smiles, my giggles, my cries, and my screams.
You'll see my world from my perspective.
Buckle up sweetie.
The ride is quite hectic.

Fighting Too Be Me

One foot in front of the other
I will march with all my peers
Demanding all the equal rights
I’ve been denied too many years
Together we’ll look
Adversity in the eye
We will show no sign of weakness
You will not see our spirits die
Hand in hand,
Heart in heart
Our hope unites us together
Our dreams will pave the city streets
Our passion melt the coldest weather

The dead we loved will be there too
The leaders past and leaders new
The victims that were publicized
And victims no one could hear cry
Will be given a voice and represented
As we march throughout the day
The people who are closeted
will hear the message
"It's okay"
Come out! Come out! Wherever you are!
We need you here we need to prove
to the entire United States of America that
we are standing strong and wont be moved

Come march for you brothers
Come stand for your sisters
who are dying in this war
who are being forced to live a lie
as they fall down in the sands to die
it's time to say no more! no more!
We can not tolerate this anymore!
All of this injustice and hate
we have to now obliterate!
we have to demand our place in this land
we must unite and make a stand!

Our community must realize
how beautiful they really are
we must know that we are deserving and
the right to marry should be ours
If some one tries to give you less
spit it out and tell them no!
Don't let anyone insult you
just because they do not know
that we too are equal under god
and we will find our place in the law
do no tolerate any special rights
take a stand and join the fight!

Don't let anyone tell you who you are
and try to fit you into a mold
or try to assign you gender for you
and never ever believe it when you're told
that your orientation is just a phase
your love a mental illness
an abomination to your God
a citizen that is worth less
Don't support businesses that can fire you
just because you're gay
our companies who don't accept transgender
because they believe it's not okay
speak up to schools who give their teachers
no choice but to not be out
to schools where there's no GSA
you have to point these problems out!

Dont tolerate bring second-rate
dont live your life in fear
demand that you be represented
in a voice that's loud and clear!
Let your neighbors know you're there
cause guess what world!
We're everywhere!
And no longer will be ignored!

We must mutilate discrimination
like we tried to do segregation
we have to tear apart oppression
and teach the world a priceless lesson that
There's no difference between me and you
Just because we have separate views
there is nothing wrong with L-G-T
and all the letters in between
we all deserve equality
Everyone; them, you and me

Eye Of The Beholder

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,
a simple truth lies in the words.
I understand them more completely
as I gaze upon your form.

I stand quietly in the doorway
a watcher only, silent, barely breathing,
taking in the scene before me
like a movie playing before my eyes.

You sit at your make up table.
The only light comes from your lamp
and the flickering candles that abound
in this, your sanctuary from the world.

I anticipate what will happen next
as I am overwhelmed by awe.
A magical transformation for me,
the lone member of the audience.

Carefully you cover your face
with a powder that beautifully conceals.
The foundation upon which you build,
this illusion that has become an art.

You adorn your eyelids skillfully
with colors that shimmer and shine,
and on your cheeks you brush
a rose colored hue that slightly glitters.

As you look in the mirror you see me
and you smile and wink an eye.
The lipstick dances across your mouth
and I can't help but smile back.

Finished with your work you stand
and turn around for me to see,
the fruit of your all your labor,
the transformation now complete.

My eyes take in the magic moment,
but my mind can hardly conceive.
The image of the man you were before
replaced with the woman you are now.

Passionately I embrace you
and place a kiss upon your lips.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
this truth I understand completely.

A Transgendered Love Affair

You knock on the door
I let you in
A smile on your lips

A sweet kiss for me
As you walk by
Gently swaying your hips

"Hello baby"
You whisper softly
A sparkle in your eyes

My heart beats fast
I cannot speak
My love I can't disguise

You look outside
Your smile fades
They wouldn't understand

Don't let them see
Our special love
A transwoman and her man

Pull down the shade
It'll be our secret
No one needs to know

Put on some music
Sit down beside me
Turn the lights down low

I kiss your lips
Feel your heat
Our arms now entwined

The touch of your hand
Upon my face
Sends shivers down my spine

Our passion grows
A fire is lit
A flame that takes control

I'm taken over
My desire for you
I feel down in my soul

Our two bodies
Turn into one
As slowly we make love

This feeling inside
Far more rapturous
Than the heavens up above

Our intimate moment
Seems not to last
And too quickly passes by

Our passion spent
We hold each other
I breathe a heavy sigh

"I love you"
I whisper softly
As I stroke your silky hair

"I love you too"
You smile back
Into my eyes you stare

The world outside
May not accept
What it does not understand

But here inside
We're safe and sound
A transwoman and her man!!

Alicia Keys-Doesn't Mean Anything

This song right here!
I just had too post the lyrics to this one. Alicia really can make you think about life and situations.
I know all to well what these lyrics mean in my own life!!



Used to dream of being a millionaire, without a care
But if I’m seeing my dreams, and you aren’t there
’cause it’s over
that just wont be fair
darling,
rather be a poor woman living on the street,
no food to eat,
cause i don't want no body if i have to cry.
cause it's over
when you said goodbye!

all at once...
i had it all
but
it doesn’t mean anything
now that you’re gone
from above seems i had it all
but it doesn’t mean anything
since you’re gone

now i see myself through different eyes,
it's no surprise!
being alone will make you realize
when it's over!
all in love is fair I shoulda been there, I shoulda been there, I shoulda shoulda.


all at once...
i had it all
but
it doesn’t mean anything
now that you’re gone
from above seems i had it all
but it doesn’t mean anything
since you’re gone

I know I pushed you away
What can I do that would save our love
Take these material things
They don’t mean nothing
Its you that I want
All at once...
I had it all
But it doesn’t mean anything
Now that you’re gone
From above,
Seems I had it all
But it doesn’t mean anything
Since you’re gone

All at once...
I had it all
But it doesn’t mean anything
Now that you’re gone
From above,
Seems I had it all
But it doesn’t mean anything
Since you’re gone

I am A Demon

I am sitting in a room void of sound thought.
The blocks surround me cold and angry, not wanting to release but to strangle as they come closer and closer.
I find myself sitting on the cold bare floor and I wonder, is this what I have become?
A boy in a box made of stone?
I see cube after cube not knowing the weather.
The lights fade and a man walks by.
Not a man but a mere shadow in the fading light.
What has he to walk so freely?
Why does he not suffocate in this world?
Forever hungry but not caring to eat what is jammed so roughly into my senses.
I fear the worst though.
Fore I have become a demon in this hell.
Rows upon rows of monsters of every description litter my view.
I can see them pacing like crazed animals, back and forth back and forth.
I must be pure and keep my head.
A demon I may be, but with the knowledge to know better.
So I may sleep.

Too Young For Bars....

Not a day goes by I don't think of you Son,
Locked up like an animal and still so young.
It doesn't seem right, it doesn't seem fair.
The sentence they gave you by putting you there.

But the crime has been done...you rejected advice,
And young as you are, you must now pay the price.
It breaks my heart knowing what you now face,
And I pray your return from that forbidding place.

The root of the problem was the company you kept,
Being out of a night-time while the rest of us slept.
You were easy to talk to, you fell in their trap,
And they stayed at home while you took the rap.

You were given a chance, to a Youth camp you went,
I was hoping that that was a 'lesson well spent'.
But when you came home, you met with them again,
Now look at the trouble you've got yourself in.

I remember your young days, teaching you right from wrong,
Telling you never be weak, and always be strong.
Your manners were perfect, they said so at school,
The girls all adored you and thought you were cool.

But it's never too late, I know this time you've learned,
Like the proverbial 'new leaf', it is you who has turned.
A new life awaits you, there are people who care,
Who love you and need you and will always be there.

Dreams

I'm constantly blinking my eyes trying to stay awake
I feel like I'm fallen and I know I better awaken
I'm constantly reminiscing on what are the meanings of my dreams
My dreams are beyond an ordinary dream
In my dreams I have already been here and there
I feel like I'm trapped in a cage
Because it continues to leave me puzzled like a maze
I feel like in life it is meant for us to dream
Because dreams are what bring life to reality
All I know is I must awaken before life passes me by
Because I pray when I die I get to live in the sky

Addiction

She puts it to her lips with ease,
just hurting deep inside.
Tried to hide the pain away,
to get that one last high.
She see's the lights over head,
one by one they pass,
going down an empty hall,
their trying to save her fast.
She hears them say oh no we've failed,
we've lost another one.
This addiction took another soul,
it started out with fun.
Now her friends and family sit above her flower covered grave,
She floats above and cries to herself,
that's all I did was crave.
Now there's a hand reaching for me,
it's time to say goodbye,
This disease just got one more,
promise me don't cry.

Crackling Rock

It feels so right, what an evil treat.
Hunger pains gnaw yet you cannot eat.
You'll never defeat this hell you've created.
Is it everything you anticipated?
Your happiness faded, your world now black.
Running endeavor forever, you can never go back.

The devil has you and will devour you whole.
Lifeless and pathetic, you've sold your soul.
You can't get out, you can't escape.
Just one hit is all it takes.
Sketching, crashing, uncontrollable shakes.
Delusions, confusion, your heart now breaks.

The sweet taste you'll always crave.
The addiction you'll fight until your grave.
Random rage you can't explain.
Guilt and sadness, forever pain.

Awake for days without sleep.
Inhale the smoke, smooth and deep.
Inhuman pleasure as you release your breath.
That will soon decease and turn to death.
Your tongue goes numb, such a rush.
Tingling touch, your cheeks feel flushed.

Never enough, you need much more.
Panic paranoia, shut and lock the door.
Absorbed to the core and lost in thought.
Laying on the floor waiting to rot.
Sought for help but nobody cares.
Cold and scared, disgusted stares.

You're beginning to look like the rest of them.
Frantically searching for your friend.
Under the couch? Under the table?
Another statistic; another label.

You greedily need
another hit.
One after another, you cannot quit.
A bottomless pit of sorrows and lies.
Consuming your mind, you won't be fine.
Blinded by the crackling rock.
Trapped in a room with an unbreakable lock.

You'll depend on it for happiness.
But the bliss you feel doesn't really exist.

Haunting you in your nightmare dreams.
Open your mouth to release silent screams.
Help me please, take it all away.
Pull me back when I go astray.

My Name is Cocaine

I cause people grief, I cause people pain,
you may not know me, my name is cocaine.

I make people cry, I make people shout,
try me twice and you'll never get out.

Once you try me, you'll want more,
I live all around you, I might live next door.

When I possess you, you'll steal, cheat, and lie,
the crimes you'll commit just to get high.

If you need me, I live all around,
I live in your schools, I live in your town.

I'll take everything from you, your morals your pride,
once I'm with you, I’m always by your side.

You'll steal from your mom, and lie to your dad,
even when they cry you are never sad.

Come with me and do my ways,
forget your family and how you were raised.

I turn people from family, and separate friends,
and I'll be your friend in the very end.

Once you're with me you'll never love again,
You'll fade, and blow away with the wind.

I'll take away your family, your friends, your home,
then you won't have anyone, you'll be all alone.

I'll take until you have nothing left to give,
when I'm done with you, there will be no will to live.

I'm warning you this is no game,
you'll be lucky if I don't drive you insane.

I live with you everywhere, even in your bed,
the things you will see inside of your head.

Now that I've got you, you'll never be free,
at the end you'll regret ever trying me.

You should have said no, and walked away,
but instead you said yes and choose to stay.

I can bring more sorrow and misery that words can tell,
if you try me I'll lead you straight to hell.

Now I'm your master, you are my slave,
I'll go with you everywhere even to your grave.

Now that you're met me, what will you do?
will you try me or not, it's all up to you.

Source: A Poem About Cocaine Taking Over Your Life, Drug Abuse Poems http://www.familyfriendpoems.com/family/poetry.asp?poem=18502#ixzz0eOdBVJpW

Crack Head

Lowly soul
Lowering knife
Low on crack
Lowlife

Razor’s dirty
Who gives a shit
No pain, no gain
Just got to get past it

Sweet, sweet relief
Poked into my veins
Swimming in my blood
Instant ecstasy I gain

Pure joy
That sails me away
My dirty little savior
Gets me through the day

Gives me an escape
That I could only dream of
If I could sleep at all
My nights aren’t full of love

I am a living nightmare
And my kind do not dream
Living life full of pain
Enough to make you scream

Smack, Crackle, Pop?
No, heroin!
Reminders on my cereal box
Of what deep shit I’m in

I cannot forget
To get out of today while I can
Poke, cut, snort, smoke
Like the other days I’ve ran

Cut out of this hell
And shoved into the light
Where I actually have
Sweet dreams at night