1. Get in touch with yourself. The better that you know yourself, the less likely it is that you're going to react to the negative people in your life. This grounding of the self-inside of your own center will come in handy no matter what difficult person you're dealing with or what the situation is like.
2. Learn to spot the problems in advance. Anytime that you're dealing with the same difficult people again and again, you can begin to notice the signs and patterns that indicate that a difficult time is coming. This will allow you to prepare for the best way to deal with the situation.
3. Refuse to engage in arguments. It takes two people to argue so learning how to simply disengage from the argumentative situation will be a great tool for many of the difficult times that you encounter with others.
4. Smile freely. Although it will annoy some people that you're so happy, most people are going to find it less easy to be difficult if you're smiling and being kind to them.
5. Pick your battles. You may need to engage in disagreements with difficult people from time to time but be smart about picking your battles so that your battles so that you're only getting into heated situations when it's actually worth it to you.
6. Recognize and honor the differences between the two of you. Many of our issues with difficult people come from the fact that they have very different beliefs from us or very different ways of communicating. Look for what those differences are and then honor them in your mind. Cherish what makes you unique from them.
7. Respect others in spite of your differences and problems. A key thing to remember in dealing with all the negative people is that it's important to try to respect everyone's right to be who they are. Treat them in a respectful manner even when you don't feel like it. Eventually they will likely return this respect.
8. Learn to set boundaries. Although you should respect others, you should also demand that they respect you. You don't do this by asking them to but instead by creating what is called healthy boundaries in all situations so that they can't infringe upon you unfairly.
9. Don't assume that your way is the right way. Even if you come up with great solutions, remain open to the possibility that you don't know everything and consider the input of the other person as well.
10. Walk away. In many cases, there may not be an easy solution to an immediate situation with a difficult person bit if you're in a position to walk away then you can at least get a break from the intensity of the situation.
Monday, October 22, 2012
Thursday, October 4, 2012
Inspiration for 10/4/12
How long are you going to hold on to the things that are not working in your interests? Things that are not fulfilling? Things that are no longer productive? How long are you going to deny yourself, your feelings and your power in order to meet the demands and expectations of others? How long are you going to overdo, over give, overindulge, trying to convince yourself and others that you are worthy? Perhaps today is a good day that you will find the courage and the strength to start being worthy.
Life is not about holding on. Life is not about doing what will make others believe you are worthy. Not is it about denying yourself to make others feel better. Isn't is obivous that life is moving on while you seem to be stuck in a holding pattern? Can you not see that you are carrying so much "stuff", perhaps so many people, that you can hardly move, let alone make any progress. In fact, doesn't it seem at times as if you are being left behind by the very ones you stayed behind to help?
Life is about moving through, moving on, growing up and growing through each and every experience. Life is about examination, elimination, and re-creation. Perhaps today is the only day you have to examine your life, to make some adjustments and changes, so that you can take full advantage of the opportunities this day offers. Today sure seems like a good day!
Life is not about holding on. Life is not about doing what will make others believe you are worthy. Not is it about denying yourself to make others feel better. Isn't is obivous that life is moving on while you seem to be stuck in a holding pattern? Can you not see that you are carrying so much "stuff", perhaps so many people, that you can hardly move, let alone make any progress. In fact, doesn't it seem at times as if you are being left behind by the very ones you stayed behind to help?
Life is about moving through, moving on, growing up and growing through each and every experience. Life is about examination, elimination, and re-creation. Perhaps today is the only day you have to examine your life, to make some adjustments and changes, so that you can take full advantage of the opportunities this day offers. Today sure seems like a good day!
Monday, October 1, 2012
In Memoriam Kyra Kruz
As days passed the news spread fast within the LGBT community via Facebook beings though the body that was found could not be identified.
I then soon learned the body had been identified and several days from that, learning that it was Kyra. My heart skipped a beat. I started telling myself, "this is not true." I really could not believe what i was hearing. I soon become to accept the fact that Kyra was actually the one that was found dead. Now let me make this quite clear, i was able to accept the fact of Kyra being gone, but i was not able to accept the fact of the way the media described her. Kyra was not a man in womans clothing, Kyra was a transwoman! I became so irritate and angry that i immediately responded addressing the media. I got on the Philadelphia Gay Newspaper website and let them have it. I explained to them in a very nice way that they did not have to write that article the way they did, while i did understand they were going off a police report, as reporters i felt like it was obvious what was being written and they just did not have to write it like that
On 9/13/12 many, many members of the LGBT Community including members of Kyra's immediate family gathered. We gathered in love, peace, and most important in hopes of seeking justice for Kyra. I have made a page on Facebook, Justice For Kyra, https://www.facebook.com/justiceforkyra
We laughed, cried, and shared a lot of love for Kyra. The place was jammed packed with over 200+ people that Kyra either knew directly or indirectly.
I just cannot seem to understand why someone would want to do such a thing to such a beautiful woman.
I remember seeing Kyra within the community many of times. Kyra struggled with a lot of the same things that i have struggled with. But one thing about Kyra, she always held her head up high and had the ability to encourage me.
Kyra was very well known to the LGBT Community. She was especially known for all her work with GALAEI, the Gay and Lesbian Latino AIDS Education Initiative, a nonprofit group that focuses on HIV/AIDS outreach. Elicia Gonzales, the executive director, said Kruz turned up one day in 2010, wanting to know what she could do to help. She was initially stationed at the front desk, but later got a job counseling clients.
"She just immediately made the office light up," Gonzales said. "She didn't think of it as her job. It was her life's calling to give back to the community."
Then it was that time for Dawn to speak about Kyra. I must say it was very hard for me to actually stand in a very crowded room to hear this woman speak. The tears began to roll, not stopping. I could feel her pain. One could only imagine what it had to of felt like for this woman.
Dawn's speech touched me. Dawn loved her daughter and still does. Dawn supported her child no matter what. It, just like many, behooves her as to why someone would do such a thing to her child.
In since meeting Dawn, i have been supportive to her and the rest of the family.
I have made the promise to Dawn that if it is the last thing i do, i am going to assit her and the family in seeking justice for Kyra. LOVE YOU MAMA DAWN!!!
I have a lot of feelings about what has happened to my sister. I just cannot let this go unsolved. I am tired of my sisters murders going unsolved. I am tired of shit being pushed under the rug.
I am proud to say that today i am taking a stand in seeking Justice For Kyra. Many ask me why. I tell them cause if it was me, i would want someone to do the same for me!
Please feel free to visit the Justice For Kyra Page: https://www.facebook.com/justiceforkyra
Also, please visit Dawn Maher site and sign her guestbook: http://www.simplesite.com/mommadawn/
Peace and Blessings all
_____________________________________________________________________
SOMEWHERE
Somewhere
beyond the sunsets end
The skies are bright and fair
No shadows dim, no darkness falls
The land is peaceful there
Someone with the power to heal
To guide and understand
Is waiting there to claim our fears
And take us by the hand
So when a dear one heeds the call
Our hearts should be at rest
For there beyond the rainbow end
A loving God knows best
The skies are bright and fair
No shadows dim, no darkness falls
The land is peaceful there
Someone with the power to heal
To guide and understand
Is waiting there to claim our fears
And take us by the hand
So when a dear one heeds the call
Our hearts should be at rest
For there beyond the rainbow end
A loving God knows best
Tuesday, September 11, 2012
What Kind of Person Are YOU?
I have this tree analogy when I think of people in my life, be it
friends, family, acquaintances, employees, co-workers, whomever...They
are all placed inside what I call my tree test. It goes like this:
LEAF PEOPLE:
Some people come into your life and they are like leaves on a tree. They are only there for a season. You can't depend on them or count on them because they are weak and only there to give you shade. Like leaves, they are there to take what they need and as soon as it gets cold or a wind blows in your life they are gone. You can't be angry at them, it's just who they are.
BRANCH PEOPLE:
There are some people who come into your life and they are like branches on a tree. They are stronger than leaves, but you have to be careful with them. They will stick around through most seasons, but if you go through a storm or two in your life it's possible that you could lose them. Most times they break away when it's tough. Although they are stronger than leaves, you have to test them out before you run out there and put all your weight on them. In most cases they can't handle too much weight. But again, you can't be mad with them, it's just who they are.
ROOT PEOPLE:
If you can find some people in your life who are like the roots of a tree then you have found something special. Like the roots of a tree, they are hard to find because they are not trying to be seen. Their only job is to hold you up and help you live a strong and healthy life. If you thrive, they are happy. They stay low key and don't let the world know that they are there. And if you go through an awful storm they will hold you up. Their job is to hold you up, come what may, and to nourish you, feed you and water you.
Just as a tree has many limbs and many leaves, there are few roots. Look at your own life. How many leaves, branches and roots do you have? What are you in other people's lives?
LEAF PEOPLE:
Some people come into your life and they are like leaves on a tree. They are only there for a season. You can't depend on them or count on them because they are weak and only there to give you shade. Like leaves, they are there to take what they need and as soon as it gets cold or a wind blows in your life they are gone. You can't be angry at them, it's just who they are.
BRANCH PEOPLE:
There are some people who come into your life and they are like branches on a tree. They are stronger than leaves, but you have to be careful with them. They will stick around through most seasons, but if you go through a storm or two in your life it's possible that you could lose them. Most times they break away when it's tough. Although they are stronger than leaves, you have to test them out before you run out there and put all your weight on them. In most cases they can't handle too much weight. But again, you can't be mad with them, it's just who they are.
ROOT PEOPLE:
If you can find some people in your life who are like the roots of a tree then you have found something special. Like the roots of a tree, they are hard to find because they are not trying to be seen. Their only job is to hold you up and help you live a strong and healthy life. If you thrive, they are happy. They stay low key and don't let the world know that they are there. And if you go through an awful storm they will hold you up. Their job is to hold you up, come what may, and to nourish you, feed you and water you.
Just as a tree has many limbs and many leaves, there are few roots. Look at your own life. How many leaves, branches and roots do you have? What are you in other people's lives?
Sunday, September 9, 2012
Guard Your Heart and Mind
One of the keys to success is to be able to guard your heart. Now,
usually when someone says guard your heart they are talking about
keeping yourself from heartbreak. Although that is important (as long as
you don’t go overboard... but that’s another conversation) that isn’t
what I’m talking about. When we are born into this world we enter with
such a pure heart but as we grow older situations, circumstances and
people tend to make us change. Now I know it is nearly impossible to
keep a childlike innocence in our hearts all of our lives, especially
after people have betrayed, lied, mistreated and downright been the
devil. Trust me when I tell you, I have seen it all. I have been there
big time. If you’re like me you’ve been there too. But if this is your
situation I want you to know two very important things about those
moments of heartbreak. Number one, learn the lesson in it. See how it
will work together for your good, because it will. Once you do, it’s
easier to forgive and move on. Secondly, and this is just as important
as the first one, you must not let that person or people change your
heart. What do I mean by that? Well, if you are a giver and someone you
have given to misuses your gift, don’t stop giving… just give to someone
else. If you are a person that loves people and someone you love hates
you, don’t stop loving… love someone else. Eventually, you will find
people who appreciate your kindness and your love. Remember this, lots
of people have been conditioned to not be able to accept purity of
heart. They can’t take it in. Most times it’s not even their fault. It’s
just what has happened to them on their journey in life. But don’t let
them turn you into one of them. There will be a lot of people in your
life who will not appreciate your pureness of heart. If they hurt you
don’t stop being you… just be you with someone else.
Why is this so important? Because God blesses you according to what is in your heart. If you are being kind, giving, loving and sharing because it is in your heart and you are not looking for anything in return, then that is a heart that God wants to bless. If you change who you are because you’ve been hurt, then you’ve changed the thing that God wants to bless you according to, and that is your heart. The people who hurt you are not worth that. You can lose everything that you have, but don’t let anybody change your heart.
Why is this so important? Because God blesses you according to what is in your heart. If you are being kind, giving, loving and sharing because it is in your heart and you are not looking for anything in return, then that is a heart that God wants to bless. If you change who you are because you’ve been hurt, then you’ve changed the thing that God wants to bless you according to, and that is your heart. The people who hurt you are not worth that. You can lose everything that you have, but don’t let anybody change your heart.
Monday, September 3, 2012
Amazing Tarot Readings
Recently i have started doing tarot readings. I have always wondered what a tarot reading was.
So, i have this amazing tarot reader.
Mind you, this woman is not only amazing tarot reader, she is a very good friend of mine that i have known for years now. We both have watched each other pretty much at our best and at our worst. She has always given me helpful insite on so many things as far as myself and just life in general. One thing that i have always respected about her was that she never looked at me no different and always kept it real with me. Let me mind you though, i met this woman several years ago in a chat room as a complete stranger. Today, she is i can say one of my best friends and one of my biggest inspirations.
Mind you, this woman is not only amazing tarot reader, she is a very good friend of mine that i have known for years now. We both have watched each other pretty much at our best and at our worst. She has always given me helpful insite on so many things as far as myself and just life in general. One thing that i have always respected about her was that she never looked at me no different and always kept it real with me. Let me mind you though, i met this woman several years ago in a chat room as a complete stranger. Today, she is i can say one of my best friends and one of my biggest inspirations.
 | ||||||||
| Miss Veronica Joy Burgess |
And so, with all that being said. I encourage each person reading this interested in a tarot reading to visit her site: http://www.naturalhealingsoul.com/ for further information.(You may need to copy and paste this URL into your address bar)
I recently had a reading done. I asked her to give me my life purpose spread and here is what she had to say:
"Being...you get the Justice card. So what this means is the need for you
to be fair and honest in all of your dealings. This is a karma card
where you reap what you sow. You will need to be very careful of the
decisions that you make, because you may experience this more than
others. You may have already even noticed this--your friends and family
getting away with more than you at times. But it is because you are to
remain balanced and in check. Accept responsibility for your actions.
Feeling--You get the seven of pentacles. You may experience a lot of frustration and feeling of failure because you do not see the fruits for your labor. It may feel as if you are not getting anywhere. You feel that you are putting in the work but there is no progress. But the thing is, you need to be patient and keep working hard at it. When we are consistent and work hard, we will eventually see our hard work pay off. Take the time out to see how far you have come, and what you need to do to go further. Pat yourself on the back for how far you have come and continue to move forward!
Thinking--You get the nine of swords. You have great worries. And you may even feel some guilt and shame. You may worry so much that you create things in your mind that are not even there. This could also cause you some difficulties with sleeping. You have to be careful of your thoughts. They create the monsters in your mind and will keep you fearful and limited from your greatness.
Doing--You have the wheel of fortune. That is when there are external forces that are out of our control; they play a major role in our lives. You cannot control which way the wheel turns but you can control how you respond to it. Be careful of the choices you make during those times. You may hit a low point but you will need to make good choices, the bad choices keep you stuck in the cycle. Don't force the change and the wheel to go into a particular direction--learn how to go with the ups and downs of life. You don't have to accept what life hands you and dont allow the bad times to worry you. Keep faith and remain optimistic. And be careful of the risks you take.
Finally, the two of swords is about making tough decisions. Often times, we want to stand there and hold off on the decisions, but you can only remain in that position for so long. After some time, you will need to make a decision. But the decision you need to make will require logic in your case. What makes the most logical sense, what is wise--and also you will need to "face the music." You cant hide from what is going on nor deny it. You need to face it head on, and make a decision with the best intentions. Also, be mindful of the consequences of your decisions you make.
You are a 9 life path number (like me!) and your personal year you are in is the number 4
So in this life time you are the humanitarian.
You have much to teach others through your own personal wisdom.
In this lifetime you go in to find your own personal truth--taking in what you have learned. And then you will need to go out into the world to help and guide others who have gone thru the same difficulties as yourself. You are the voice of the people!
In your personal year 4 (2012) this is about getting things in order....getting the structure and stability in your life, in place. You will need to make sure you do this because next year, you will experience a lot of change and movement. Make the most of this year that is left, to create stability in your life. make connections. You may need to make, break bad habits. It is kind of a "get your house in order" type thing.
So for the rest of the year, make sure you are playing it safe and doing the right thing because as I said before, you will reap what you sow....so sow good....and even when you do find yourself in trouble, the universe does remember the good you have done and will reward you for it.
Your work is not in vain!"
Feeling--You get the seven of pentacles. You may experience a lot of frustration and feeling of failure because you do not see the fruits for your labor. It may feel as if you are not getting anywhere. You feel that you are putting in the work but there is no progress. But the thing is, you need to be patient and keep working hard at it. When we are consistent and work hard, we will eventually see our hard work pay off. Take the time out to see how far you have come, and what you need to do to go further. Pat yourself on the back for how far you have come and continue to move forward!
Thinking--You get the nine of swords. You have great worries. And you may even feel some guilt and shame. You may worry so much that you create things in your mind that are not even there. This could also cause you some difficulties with sleeping. You have to be careful of your thoughts. They create the monsters in your mind and will keep you fearful and limited from your greatness.
Doing--You have the wheel of fortune. That is when there are external forces that are out of our control; they play a major role in our lives. You cannot control which way the wheel turns but you can control how you respond to it. Be careful of the choices you make during those times. You may hit a low point but you will need to make good choices, the bad choices keep you stuck in the cycle. Don't force the change and the wheel to go into a particular direction--learn how to go with the ups and downs of life. You don't have to accept what life hands you and dont allow the bad times to worry you. Keep faith and remain optimistic. And be careful of the risks you take.
Finally, the two of swords is about making tough decisions. Often times, we want to stand there and hold off on the decisions, but you can only remain in that position for so long. After some time, you will need to make a decision. But the decision you need to make will require logic in your case. What makes the most logical sense, what is wise--and also you will need to "face the music." You cant hide from what is going on nor deny it. You need to face it head on, and make a decision with the best intentions. Also, be mindful of the consequences of your decisions you make.
You are a 9 life path number (like me!) and your personal year you are in is the number 4
So in this life time you are the humanitarian.
You have much to teach others through your own personal wisdom.
In this lifetime you go in to find your own personal truth--taking in what you have learned. And then you will need to go out into the world to help and guide others who have gone thru the same difficulties as yourself. You are the voice of the people!
In your personal year 4 (2012) this is about getting things in order....getting the structure and stability in your life, in place. You will need to make sure you do this because next year, you will experience a lot of change and movement. Make the most of this year that is left, to create stability in your life. make connections. You may need to make, break bad habits. It is kind of a "get your house in order" type thing.
So for the rest of the year, make sure you are playing it safe and doing the right thing because as I said before, you will reap what you sow....so sow good....and even when you do find yourself in trouble, the universe does remember the good you have done and will reward you for it.
Your work is not in vain!"
I welcome all of your thoughts!!
Myself-Exactly As I am
Self-Value means I know who I am!
Self-Esteem means I am who I say I am!
Self-Worth means I believe I am who I say I am!
Until today, you may not have been aware of how your knowledge of your own value affects your self-esteem or how your self-knowledge of your own value affects your self-esteem or how your self-esteem affects your sense of self-worth.
Just for today, make sure that what you know about yourself is reflected in what you say about yourself, because what you say about yourself influences what you believe about yourself!
Self-Esteem means I am who I say I am!
Self-Worth means I believe I am who I say I am!
Until today, you may not have been aware of how your knowledge of your own value affects your self-esteem or how your self-knowledge of your own value affects your self-esteem or how your self-esteem affects your sense of self-worth.
Just for today, make sure that what you know about yourself is reflected in what you say about yourself, because what you say about yourself influences what you believe about yourself!
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