I Want A Second Chance To Grow

It's a troubled walk my friend
Each day brings old pain back again
Not one soul to console me
Not one road that they've shown me
I gotta find it on my own
And fight my demons and unearth gold
and love thy neighbor whence they scorn
Myself inside my chosen form
And see the truth
And know the lie
And see love's proof
In vacant eyes
I hate this path, I hate this road
All my wrath is God owed
He gave me life and watched me fake it
Burdened by truth I want to take it
Do you know where good has gone?
Where spoken morals carry on?
Where I could gain what I should know
And not bear gashes lined in rows?
Where I could hold my makings dear
And yet to others still be near?
Do you know what happened to
Everything the world told you?
Take my laughter, Take my tears
And give me back my early years

This Is Me

I hide so many secrets
but I'm getting tired of hiding.
if you knew me
would you still care?
it's been a while
since I've been honest with you,
and I just want to say
that I'm sorry for the way I've been.
I'm not who you think,
this body to me is a cell
and I wish it so much to change.

this isn't me you see,
no one has ever seen the real me.
locked inside my head
is where she's always been,
and yes I do mean she.
the secret is my body deceives.
I am not a man,
and my greatest wish
is to make this true.

my whole life I've kept this secret
hidden and suppressed.
through many lonely days and nights
I've thought about this,
unsure of what I want.
this hasn't been easy
and my troubles have just begun.

I want a new life
just like I always have.
different as it may be
it's time to do something for myself.
if after reading this
you still say you care,
then I'd be happy
to call you a friend.

I walk this lonely road
with none beside me.
I want to be a girl
I say to them,
they think I'm crazy;
they think I'm gay.
most either walk away
or never want to talk.

I feel so alone every day.
sometimes I wonder why me?
every day I cry
from this feeling of isolation.
though I know I'm not alone
it always seems to feel like I am,
as if the world is doing it's best
to destroy me and change me.

I can't help how I am,
I just want to live my own life.
I'm sorry for deceiving you,
it went on for far too long.
one day I hope you can forgive me.
I'm not perfect,
and I never have or will be,
but I'm not sorry for how I am.

this deception has gone on far too long,
and it's time I make a stand.
I am transsexual and of that
I will not be ashamed anymore.
the real me I must finally show the world.

so this is me
with all my flaws and faults,
hate me if you must
but I won't care,
because I'm finally being true to myself.

Just A Girl

I'm just a girl, and this is my world.
I never asked for it to be this way,
but that's life for you, never fair.
I'm never sure what I should do,
but what should you care?
my world isn't nice,
and it's certainly not forgiving.
you can come in if you like,
but you'd better think twice.
it's not all that you think it may be.
I make it seem alright,
though to most, it must seem full of fright.
you may think you're tough,
but my world is tougher.
it's beaten many before,
and there are many yet to come.
it's not for everyone, who would want it?
this is a life of desperation and last resorts,
mostly just lucky breaks.
the world sees me, and my life,
more ways than I can imagine,
but I'm just a girl.
there's nothing special about me, really,
I've only worked harder than most to just be a girl.

About Me

Born 28 years ago this November
I'm a girl you'll always remember
for being the one always there when you call,
for being the one to pick you up when you fall.
My name is Katrina, some call me Kat,
either way, doesn't matter, they're both lovely.
I say I'm a girl you'll always remember.
Born 28 years ago this November
I was a boy; now let's see you forget.
I'm a transsexual woman still just 28
and I'm here to share my heart with you;
share my story, my future, my plans, and my dreams,
my smiles, my giggles, my cries, and my screams.
You'll see my world from my perspective.
Buckle up sweetie.
The ride is quite hectic.

Fighting Too Be Me

One foot in front of the other
I will march with all my peers
Demanding all the equal rights
I’ve been denied too many years
Together we’ll look
Adversity in the eye
We will show no sign of weakness
You will not see our spirits die
Hand in hand,
Heart in heart
Our hope unites us together
Our dreams will pave the city streets
Our passion melt the coldest weather

The dead we loved will be there too
The leaders past and leaders new
The victims that were publicized
And victims no one could hear cry
Will be given a voice and represented
As we march throughout the day
The people who are closeted
will hear the message
"It's okay"
Come out! Come out! Wherever you are!
We need you here we need to prove
to the entire United States of America that
we are standing strong and wont be moved

Come march for you brothers
Come stand for your sisters
who are dying in this war
who are being forced to live a lie
as they fall down in the sands to die
it's time to say no more! no more!
We can not tolerate this anymore!
All of this injustice and hate
we have to now obliterate!
we have to demand our place in this land
we must unite and make a stand!

Our community must realize
how beautiful they really are
we must know that we are deserving and
the right to marry should be ours
If some one tries to give you less
spit it out and tell them no!
Don't let anyone insult you
just because they do not know
that we too are equal under god
and we will find our place in the law
do no tolerate any special rights
take a stand and join the fight!

Don't let anyone tell you who you are
and try to fit you into a mold
or try to assign you gender for you
and never ever believe it when you're told
that your orientation is just a phase
your love a mental illness
an abomination to your God
a citizen that is worth less
Don't support businesses that can fire you
just because you're gay
our companies who don't accept transgender
because they believe it's not okay
speak up to schools who give their teachers
no choice but to not be out
to schools where there's no GSA
you have to point these problems out!

Dont tolerate bring second-rate
dont live your life in fear
demand that you be represented
in a voice that's loud and clear!
Let your neighbors know you're there
cause guess what world!
We're everywhere!
And no longer will be ignored!

We must mutilate discrimination
like we tried to do segregation
we have to tear apart oppression
and teach the world a priceless lesson that
There's no difference between me and you
Just because we have separate views
there is nothing wrong with L-G-T
and all the letters in between
we all deserve equality
Everyone; them, you and me

Eye Of The Beholder

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder,
a simple truth lies in the words.
I understand them more completely
as I gaze upon your form.

I stand quietly in the doorway
a watcher only, silent, barely breathing,
taking in the scene before me
like a movie playing before my eyes.

You sit at your make up table.
The only light comes from your lamp
and the flickering candles that abound
in this, your sanctuary from the world.

I anticipate what will happen next
as I am overwhelmed by awe.
A magical transformation for me,
the lone member of the audience.

Carefully you cover your face
with a powder that beautifully conceals.
The foundation upon which you build,
this illusion that has become an art.

You adorn your eyelids skillfully
with colors that shimmer and shine,
and on your cheeks you brush
a rose colored hue that slightly glitters.

As you look in the mirror you see me
and you smile and wink an eye.
The lipstick dances across your mouth
and I can't help but smile back.

Finished with your work you stand
and turn around for me to see,
the fruit of your all your labor,
the transformation now complete.

My eyes take in the magic moment,
but my mind can hardly conceive.
The image of the man you were before
replaced with the woman you are now.

Passionately I embrace you
and place a kiss upon your lips.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder
this truth I understand completely.

A Transgendered Love Affair

You knock on the door
I let you in
A smile on your lips

A sweet kiss for me
As you walk by
Gently swaying your hips

"Hello baby"
You whisper softly
A sparkle in your eyes

My heart beats fast
I cannot speak
My love I can't disguise

You look outside
Your smile fades
They wouldn't understand

Don't let them see
Our special love
A transwoman and her man

Pull down the shade
It'll be our secret
No one needs to know

Put on some music
Sit down beside me
Turn the lights down low

I kiss your lips
Feel your heat
Our arms now entwined

The touch of your hand
Upon my face
Sends shivers down my spine

Our passion grows
A fire is lit
A flame that takes control

I'm taken over
My desire for you
I feel down in my soul

Our two bodies
Turn into one
As slowly we make love

This feeling inside
Far more rapturous
Than the heavens up above

Our intimate moment
Seems not to last
And too quickly passes by

Our passion spent
We hold each other
I breathe a heavy sigh

"I love you"
I whisper softly
As I stroke your silky hair

"I love you too"
You smile back
Into my eyes you stare

The world outside
May not accept
What it does not understand

But here inside
We're safe and sound
A transwoman and her man!!