This Is Me

I hide so many secrets
but I'm getting tired of hiding.
if you knew me
would you still care?
it's been a while
since I've been honest with you,
and I just want to say
that I'm sorry for the way I've been.
I'm not who you think,
this body to me is a cell
and I wish it so much to change.

this isn't me you see,
no one has ever seen the real me.
locked inside my head
is where she's always been,
and yes I do mean she.
the secret is my body deceives.
I am not a man,
and my greatest wish
is to make this true.

my whole life I've kept this secret
hidden and suppressed.
through many lonely days and nights
I've thought about this,
unsure of what I want.
this hasn't been easy
and my troubles have just begun.

I want a new life
just like I always have.
different as it may be
it's time to do something for myself.
if after reading this
you still say you care,
then I'd be happy
to call you a friend.

I walk this lonely road
with none beside me.
I want to be a girl
I say to them,
they think I'm crazy;
they think I'm gay.
most either walk away
or never want to talk.

I feel so alone every day.
sometimes I wonder why me?
every day I cry
from this feeling of isolation.
though I know I'm not alone
it always seems to feel like I am,
as if the world is doing it's best
to destroy me and change me.

I can't help how I am,
I just want to live my own life.
I'm sorry for deceiving you,
it went on for far too long.
one day I hope you can forgive me.
I'm not perfect,
and I never have or will be,
but I'm not sorry for how I am.

this deception has gone on far too long,
and it's time I make a stand.
I am transsexual and of that
I will not be ashamed anymore.
the real me I must finally show the world.

so this is me
with all my flaws and faults,
hate me if you must
but I won't care,
because I'm finally being true to myself.